A Letter to Someone--Issue-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named

Dear Someone,

I have a very important matter to discuss. Do you remember how you told me not to jump off of high places in a feeble attempt to impress a girl? Nevermind, forget what I just said. All that matters is that I’m in the hospital right now. I need you to stop by here and get me out. The food is absolutely terrible. Oh, I suppose the dragon just outside the door is another reason I’d like to leave. It roasted the nurse already, which she deserved, but I’d rather not meet the same fate. I’m not exactly sure why I’m writing you a letter when my life is in grave danger, but please come quickly anyway.

Your dear—and not stupid—friend, Someone Else.

P.S. Every letter needs a P.S. at the end. What does that mean anyway? HELP! THE DRAGON FIGURED OUT THE DOOR NOB!