karl bickerstaff

An Aquarian Apparatus--Issue-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named

By Karl Bickerstaff “Commander Svenson? I think you need to see this.” Jon Svenson sighed as he stood up from the chart-littered table. Probably another false alarm. Hans was a good copilot for the small research sub, just overly enthusiastic. He had a tendency to spot things that weren’t really there. “What is it, Hans?” he asked wearily. “It’s something big, sir,” Hans Olo replied, with a slightly nervous tone in his voice that Jon had never noticed before.

The Lonely Laundromat--Issue #12

By Karl Bickerstaff It was late. Madoc Kingsley yawned heavily as he began pulling clothes out of the last dryer. The old laundromat, located just barely on the right side of the tracks, was always deserted at this time of night, despite the lure of half price after nine o’clock. He yawned again. Every three days, the same old drill: get home from the lab, load up the hamper, and make the slow, dreary drive through a gray city that was hectic but slow.

Getting Your Pilot's License with Karl Bickerstaff--Issue #12

By Karl Bickerstaff You may recall a previous article wherein we discussed the best methods for scoring a perfect 100 on the SAT. At the end of that article, I said that next time around we would discuss the best way to get a pilot’s license. I hardly expected to be taken seriously on that, but you asked for it (citation needed), so here it is: Getting Your Pilot’s License with Karl Bickerstaff, 1st Edition.

Seamus and the Ice Cream Sandwich--Issue #11

Seamus and the Ice Cream Sandwich By Karl Bickerstaff Seamus stared at the hundred dollar bill on the table in front of him. What to do with it? He wasn’t very good at converting between wizard money and normal money in his head, but he figured it was a decent amount. Suddenly, a hand swept out of nowhere and snatched the bill from the table. Seamus, startled, looked up.

The Octopus and the Orangutan--Issue #10

‘Twas a blustering, tedious, philanthropic day When the octopus set sail for the high seas. With him he took, for company, An almanac and a tray of cheese. The wind was coming from three points North And the barometer was low on mercury On that day the octopus sallied forth With his almanac and his tray of cheese. The orangutan was reclining tediously Dreaming of philanthropic cheese When the three point almanac ran away

This Isn't How The Story Ends--Issue #10

By Karl Bickerstaff A dark gray Mercedes pulled into the parking garage. It swept through the mostly deserted structure before coming to a halt next to a large concrete pillar. Two men stepped out, one tall and thin, the other shorter and thicker. “And remember, you’ll only have about 10 seconds alone with him in the elevator.” The short man nodded. “That’s plenty of time. Just a quick hit and–” he made a slashing motion at his throat.

Acing the SAT with Karl Bickerstaff--Issue #9

By Karl Bickerstaff In this little article, I’m going to share with you, the reader, my tips and tricks for acing the SAT. I used these methods when I took the SAT, and I scored a 100. As we all know, 100 is an A+, so it obviously worked. Don’t study beforehand. Studying tires out your brain and puts unnecessary wear on your neurons, and you want your brain to be rested and your neurons to be sharp when you take the test.

Toby the Timid Tortoise: A Tragic Tale of Trauma and Travail--Issue #9

By Karl Bickerstaff Toby was a timid tortoise. That much should be obvious from the title of this story. Toby the timid tortoise lived with his fellow tortoises in the place where he and his fellow tortoises lived. The fellow tortoises were all quite content with the place they lived, their food, and their lives in general. But not Toby. For Toby was a very timid tortoise. He trembled at the shadow of a starling flying overhead.

An Urgent Update from Absolom Adolphson - Issue #7

by Absolom Adolphson Hello, I’m Absolom Adolphson, Special Correspondent for The Hrothgarian Chronicle (sponsor of Ti3) on all things related to The Ingenious Three. You probably have not heard of me before, but that’s not surprising, since I only just got my position with The Hrothgarian Chronicle. Anyway, we have an urgent update on The Ingenious Three (see below): As we are sure you all know, Tobias Hrothgar, leader of The Ingenious Three, has been busy writing a manuscript titled The Ingenious Inception, which will detail the founding of The Ingenious Three.