Clarence the Cuttlefish--Issue-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named
(The author has decided he would rather not be known for this… unique piece of work, therefore, he did not sign his name.)
Clarence was a cuttlefish (if you don’t believe me, see above). Clarence once was a baby cuttlefish, now he is not a baby cuttlefish, and one day he will be a dead cuttlefish.
Now, as everyone knows, a cuttlefish is a type of cattle. Well, Clarence was a cuttlefish, therefore he is cattle.