Why I Never Take the Bus--Issue #14

By Tobias Hrothgar

If you are a human, and I hope you are, then you have probably heard of buses. That might not mean you have actually been on a bus, but you have probably heard of them. For those of you who have not been on a bus, you are very lucky. Everyone knows that a bus is a terrible, uncomfortable place. If you disagree then you know nothing.

Well, I suppose it could just be me who has problems with the bus. I suppose I might as well tell you why I have such a strong hatred against public transport vehicles.

It all started ten days before the day I became two thirds of my current age. It was very late, and already dark. I was in desperate need of a way home. This was because some random stranger had asked me for my car keys and I gave them to him. Unfortunately, he must not have been the right person to loan my keys to because I couldn’t find my car afterward.

So, yeah. I went and boarded a bus to get home. Maybe the guy was just taking my car home for me to be nice. Maybe I’d find it there when I got back.

I boarded the bus and had to pay every bit of money left in my wallet. I’d handed most of my money to some guy who had come to me while holding knife. Anyway, I’m out of space of the newspaper, so I suppose you’ll hear the rest in part two.