By Tobias Hrothgar If you are a human, and I hope you are, then you have probably heard of buses. That might not mean you have actually been on a bus, but you have probably heard of them. For those of you who have not been on a bus, you are very lucky. Everyone knows that a bus is a terrible, uncomfortable place. If you disagree then you know nothing.
Dear Someone,
I have a very important matter to discuss. Do you remember how you told me not to jump off of high places in a feeble attempt to impress a girl? Nevermind, forget what I just said. All that matters is that I’m in the hospital right now. I need you to stop by here and get me out. The food is absolutely terrible. Oh, I suppose the dragon just outside the door is another reason I’d like to leave.
By Tobias Hrothgar (This story is one that has begun and will probably never be finished. Sorry, but that’s the truth. For similar stories like this look for A Peculiar Undertaking.)
“Leonard, we’ve got a serious issue,” Harry said over the walkie-talkie.
“Shoot,” I replied.
“Sure thing.” A loud bang echoed through the neighborhood.
“I didn’t mean literally, you idiot! I meant for you to state your issue!
The Case of Sebastian Salzwedel By Tobias Hrothgar Karl and I quickly walked into the building. I called Cindy, who was sitting at the front desk:
“Cindy?”
“Sir?”
“Search Sebastian Salzwedel. Stat.”
“Certainly sir. Spell out the surname.”
“S-A-L-Z-W-E-D-E-L. In Schaffhausen, Switzerland.”
“Yes, sir. Let’s see: Salzwedel, Sebastian. Something seems strange.”
“Say it.”
“It says Sebatian slew seventy-six possessed sandwiches.”
“Possessed sand–stop. That’s spurious silliness. Is there some seperate Sebastian Salzwedel in Schaffhausen, Switzerland?
The Last Meal THE FOLLOWING IS A RECORDING OF A CONVERSATION BETWEEN TOBIAS HROTHGAR AND TORFIS TEFFLEMAN, THE TWO FAMOUS AUTHORS. EVERYTHING HERE WAS COMPLETELY UNSCRIPTED BEGINNING OF RECORDING Tobias Hrothgar: When I was a boy I found out how to travel through the space-time continuum. Of course, my parents didn’t let me do it much, but they didn’t know it’s not actually all that dangerous if you know how to tie a roper to follow back to your time.
Homeless Man Appears From Nowhere An old homeless man who called himself McGucket appeared from nowhere last Thursday. He claimed he was trying to escape the giant, carnivorous carnations, but then he fell down into the perfectly solid, holeless ground. Now we can’t say that we’ve heard this story before, but ever since Tobias Hrothgar began showing people the world we could only imagine before… well, I can’t say things are just as they had been previously in the world.
By Tobias Hrothgar If you were to walk down Seventh street at the time it happened you would probably not have found anything very interesting. It was just like any other street, except for the monastery. The monastery was even of less interest than most. With plain wooden walls painted white and a garage door, you would have thought it was just some sort of workshop, except for the crosses decorating it.
Excerpt from The Ingenious Inception by Tobias Hrothgar Everything on this Earth has a beginning. Every plant, every rock has a tale to tell. A beginning, a foundation… an inception. So it is for each organization, each fellowship, each friendship. Such is how our adventures began. But, to tell of this inception we must first go back to the point where the light just began to flicker on before we yet knew one another.