The Turducken--Issue #11

The Turducken

By Sames Muris & Alfred Bob

Once upon a time. (Alfred: No no no! That’s a bad beginning.) Well, let me think. One day there was a boy. (Alfred: Oh, rubbish. This story can’t be about a boy.) How about a… turducken!

One day there was a turducken. Now, as you might expect, this was not an ordinary turducken. (Alfred: Just a pea pickin’ minute! Why wasn’t he ordinary just like the rest of us?) Alfred, you are not ordinary, now be quiet, I’m trying to write.

One day there was a turducken. A very ordinary turducken, aside from the fact that he was called a turducken. He was rather more platypus-ish. Now, if you’re a turducken-platypus being very ordinary was rather unusual. He lived all alone with his family and several other people, on an inland island in the innermost inside of Indonesia, in which he lived happily enough for a turducken who knew no other life. One day he was bouncing along when he saw a flying saucer flapping slowly away across his yard. Being a very inquisitive—and not very bright—creature, he went bounding after it. He was so absorbed in what he was doing that he didn’t notice the edge of the cliff. In fact, he couldn’t even tell that he had walked off the cliff. He only began falling when the saucer, which turned out to be only a senator with a chainsaw, told him that he was no longer on the ground. He then, obviously, started falling. He fell down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down. He fell so far and fast that he got stuck in a time loop. The truth is that a wizard had set a time trap just under the edge of the cliff.

Well, I must say more than that about the wizard. So let’s leave our turducken stranded for the moment. Now, let’s look about 200 million years into the future. Now, assuming that the world hasn’t ended yet, you would see a battle going on. This battle was between a wizard and a frog. Obviously, they both thought that the other was in the wrong. One blistering day the amateur wizard was walking down the street…