Clarence the Cuttlefish--Issue-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named

(The author has decided he would rather not be known for this… unique piece of work, therefore, he did not sign his name.)

Clarence was a cuttlefish (if you don’t believe me, see above). Clarence once was a baby cuttlefish, now he is not a baby cuttlefish, and one day he will be a dead cuttlefish.

Now, as everyone knows, a cuttlefish is a type of cattle. Well, Clarence was a cuttlefish, therefore he is cattle.

That is not important right now, so we might as well get on to what is important in the overall boring life of Clarence the cuttlefish. This is one of the less boring moments in his life. This is the moment where Clarence, who is a cuttlefish, meets a shark.

It is common knowledge that a shark is a type of vegetable closely related to the tomato. For those of you who believe the tomato to be a fruit: A shark is far more vegetable than a tomato is, so whether a tomato is a fruit or not, the shark is a vegetable.

Moving on, Clarence was flying around, minding his own business (yes, cuttlefish are one of the few types of cattle that can fly), when suddenly he happened upon a shark (‘happened upon’ here means ‘the shark suddenly materialized in the air, causing Clarence to trip and nearly break his nose on an altocirrostratonimbus cloud (we all know that a cloud is a brand of convertible)).

The shark apologized for his dramatic entrance, and Clarence, who is a cuttlefish, said “You are a type of vegetable.”

The shark acknowledged this fact to be a true one, then he swam away, wondering what in the world had just happened, and that is all the time we have for today, so tune in next time to here Larry say: “Hey wait, a moment, what do I have to do with all this?” and thus ends this unnecessarily long sentence which no one is likely reading anyway, ‘cause who would read a story about a cuttlefish in the first place?