An Aquarian Apparatus--Issue-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named

By Karl Bickerstaff

“Commander Svenson? I think you need to see this.”

Jon Svenson sighed as he stood up from the chart-littered table. Probably another false alarm. Hans was a good copilot for the small research sub, just overly enthusiastic. He had a tendency to spot things that weren’t really there.

“What is it, Hans?” he asked wearily.

“It’s something big, sir,” Hans Olo replied, with a slightly nervous tone in his voice that Jon had never noticed before.

“Is it really something, Beowulf?” Jon queried. He had never learned how the tall, thin, quiet Lars Olafson had gained the aforementioned nickname. Lars certainly never told anyone.

“He’s right, Commander. You need to see this,” said Lars after a pause.

“Alright, I’m coming.” Jon stepped through the small hatchway into the cockpit of the sub. Lars and Hans were staring out the small glass porthole.

“Okay, make room. What is it?” asked Jon.

“See for yourself.” Lars stepped away from the porthole. Jon leaned forward and looked out.

“What is it? It’s just dark water. If you want me to see something, turn on the lights,” he said.

“Just keep watching,” said Lars.

“Fine, but–” Jon froze. A bright white light had suddenly flashed out of the darkness, then vanished.

“What is that?” he said slowly.

“Turn on the lights, Hans,” said Lars.

Hans leaned forward and flipped the forward spotlight on. The three of them crowded around the small porthole.

There was a tall, round, red and white pole standing up from the bottom of the ocean. As they watched, the light appeared again, flashing from the top of the pole.

“What is that?” Jon murmured again.

“It’s rather obvious, isn’t it?” asked Lars.

“Well, I’m not sure about that,” started Hans, “since none of–”

“It’s a lighthouse.”

”–us were… wait, did you say lighthouse or do I have a hearing problem?”

“I don’t think you do,” said Jon slowly. “But I think Beowulf might have an eye problem.”

“Explain.” Lars leaned back in his chair.

“You’ve been working in research subs for eighteen years. When was the last time you saw a functioning underwater lighthouse?”

“About ten seconds ago,” replied Lars coolly.

“Okay, besides that!”

“Never.”

“See? It’s preposterous.”

“Can you think of a better explanation?”

Jon rolled his eyes. “Of course. It could be… well, maybe…”

He trailed off, embarrassed. Lars nodded slowly.

“Just as I thought. So, now what?”