Dear Anonymous Why in the world did you let Karl Bickerstaff do this issue? You should have had Torfis Teffleman do it; he seems much more trustworthy. ~ from A Concerned Reader Dear Concerned I don’t like your tone. Karl has often proved his trustworthiness to certain people (for examples, wait for Tobias Hrothgar’s book The Ingenious Inception , coming out sometime soon). Also, Torfis is a criminal, and according to Vizzini the Sicilian criminals cannot be trusted.

Lamppost Sighting in Downtown Houston There have been reports of a lamppost appearing in downtown Houston. Witnesses say that they saw a tall thin metal object with some form of light-emitting apparatus at the upper end. The police are investigating this sighting, and we fully expect that more information will surface shortly. If you see any other lampposts, do not engage them. They are dangerous. Instead, back slowly away and call 911.

By Karl Bickerstaff In this little article, I’m going to share with you, the reader, my tips and tricks for acing the SAT. I used these methods when I took the SAT, and I scored a 100. As we all know, 100 is an A+, so it obviously worked. Don’t study beforehand. Studying tires out your brain and puts unnecessary wear on your neurons, and you want your brain to be rested and your neurons to be sharp when you take the test.

By Tobias Hrothgar If you were to walk down Seventh street at the time it happened you would probably not have found anything very interesting. It was just like any other street, except for the monastery. The monastery was even of less interest than most. With plain wooden walls painted white and a garage door, you would have thought it was just some sort of workshop, except for the crosses decorating it.

By Karl Bickerstaff Toby was a timid tortoise. That much should be obvious from the title of this story. Toby the timid tortoise lived with his fellow tortoises in the place where he and his fellow tortoises lived. The fellow tortoises were all quite content with the place they lived, their food, and their lives in general. But not Toby. For Toby was a very timid tortoise. He trembled at the shadow of a starling flying overhead.

Shoes, No Cartoons, Animals, Mental Health, “Famous” Quotes, and More Cartoons This is a really long one, so prepare yourself Tefflewong Loafers We may, someday far in the future, begin selling Tefflewong loafers. You’ve never heard of them? Shame on you. Tefflewong loafers are only the most popular shoes in the history of shoes. Why? Probably because the brand name sounds funny; and familiar… Cartoons Banned in Nod The government of Nod has done an abominable thing: they have banned cartoons.

Dear Anonymous, I’m sure you have heard this question many, many times, but I’m curious, so I’ll ask anyway: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? ~from Just Curious Dear Just Curious, In fact, I have never heard that question until now. I’m not even sure what a woodchuck is. This is difficult. I have never been asked such a hard question. I’ll have to get back to you on

By Karleigh Provost Taken from karleigh4.wixsite.com/everything For centuries, reading has been a respected art and has been regarded as a means to gain knowledge and pass it along. The art of reading, though not as often appreciated as it used to be, is a clear, concise, and creative way to gain information. Reading is a valuable tool; a book in the hand of a student is a drill in the hand of a carpenter, as information can be used

Dear Anonymous, I am a first-time reader of the Hrothgarian Chronicle, and I have to say it lives up to my highest expectations. I just have one problem with it. Why haven’t they made a website yet? ~from Website Fanatic Dear Website Fanatic, We have actually been working on making a website for the Hrothgarian Chronicle a while now. We assigned the task to Bickerstaff Productions, so in order to get a more exact answer, you may contact them (contact theingeniousthr33@gmail.

Advice, Important People, History, and Cartoons The Three Steps to Not Dying: Stay Alive. Avoid Dying. Don’t be Tobias Hrothgar. Avoid making more steps than previously stated. People You Should Know About: · Cindy Thompson: Past assistant of Karl Bickerstaff. Raised in foster care. In charge of resources and mission control for the Ingenious 3. · Timothy Teffleman: One of the founders of the NOD project (Norbert Octavius Democratic Project), shortly after World War I.